Hi Loves.
Life got in the way of writing.
However like the Terminator would say, ''i'm backkkkkkk".
I
wrote this exactly two years ago when i was still spotting a growing bump. i
remember feeling such a rush of love for the baby within . However, i
had no inkling of just how much Joy that tiny being would flood my life
with. That tiny being is now a year and 6months.
i
thought it fitting to post this as it is Mothers' day week. Yes. I said
week.
Please
enjoy.
I
found myself at a Mothers’ day event at a children’s school. (At my sister in
law’s bidding seeing as I was to be a mother soonest myself). I went there with
the mindset of a spectator and not necessarily, a participant. The first few
presentations went on fine enough and I cheerfully (dutifully) clapped when my
nephews showed up on stage.
An
hour later, an age group of 8-10 came on stage to sing a song to show
appreciation for their Mothers. The lead singer was an adorable bubbly looking
girl. So cute to look at with the voice of an Angel! My eyes were fixated on
this little girl who couldn’t be more than 8 singing so heartily on how much
she loved her Mother. And next thing I hear, their teacher saying ‘’the pupils
are going to go round still singing and dance with their Mothers…’’ I quickly
felt exposed…I mentally counted the number of students singing and the number
of Mothers present and I concluded I would be exposed for the fraud that I was
standing there without a child. All of a sudden, I felt before I saw, a chubby
set of arms go round me in a warm embrace. I turned quickly to see the
beautiful lead singer holding on to me and still singing, my arms automatically
went round her and I hugged her a little too tightly. She didn’t seem to mind
and smiled broadly, her singing even sounded happier…in that moment, I loved
that little girl with a love soooo strong I could have sworn she was mine. And
the way she smiled into my eyes, singing directly to me, I could tell I had become
her Mom in those few minutes. I kept expecting her to disengage and go to her
Mom as a quick glance around told me most students were wrapped in their
Mothers’ embrace.
All
too soon, they were ushered back on stage and I reluctantly loosened my hold on
her. Afterward, I went all out and ditched uncertainty to the ground. I took a
lot of pictures of her and cheered her on the loudest when her solo
presentation came on and still had time to whip out my cam coder. She smiled at
me just before she took a bow. In that moment, I was certain I couldn’t be more
proud of this baby any more than I could mine.
At
the end of the event, i interacted with the other Mothers and made my way to
the car happy I had come. And then I saw her. I beckoned to her and all traces
of the bubbly girl I had watched on stage earlier had vanished. I asked her
which of the women her Mom was (to thank her for letting me "steal"
her child on such an important day...) She tried to force a smile but failed.
‘’she
had a very important meeting at work and could not make it"
then after a slight hesitation, she added,
" never makes it’’
I
gave her a quick hug and said, ‘’I’m sure she loves you, and is very proud of
you’’
She
nodded and walked slowly to the car with a waiting driver, her footsteps,
almost dragging.
Almost
immediately, my nephews sped out flying on me and I felt guilty hugging them
and telling them how proud I was of them knowing that in the corner of my eye,
“my little girl” was watching. I turned just before she got into the car with
tears streaming down her face. I didn’t look up till it sped off.
As
I went to bed that night, I rubbed my now fast growing bump lovingly and prayed
I would never have to make any child of mine feel the way that little girl did
on a Mothers’ day.
In another six months my son should start
school. I’ve never forgotten "my little girl" and i still hope to
keep the promise i made to my "bump" .
“And
i realized when you look at your Mother, you are looking at the purest Love you
will ever know"- Mitch Albom
